Tag Archives: Waiting to adopt

18 months

Every Friday Dan and I have a little calendar event that pops up and says “Self Reflection!” I see the reminder and ponder to myself, how did I handle conflict this week, did I speak up for myself, was I able to show those around me that I love them, and did I make the world a better place. Yesterday I came home to a letter from our adoption agency and my heart ached a little. It was our “hey, it’s been 18 months and you still aren’t any closer to becoming parents” letter. I couldn’t even read past the first line which was some quote from an alumni trying to commiserate with how “awful” the wait is. Yes, it is awful, it’s sucks! And this has truly been the hardest thing we have ever done. For more than a year, every Friday I’d feel sorry for myself and my reflections spiraled out of context. I could feel my inner light flickering, and I realized I couldn’t let my fears and self-doubt change who I am, and what I’m still to become. 

So now, I reflect on this letter from IAC. I read past the commiseration to stand up to the knowledge that some brave soul is out there looking for us and we’re here with open hearts. Waiting to become a parent is hard, deciding to place a child is… shit, I can’t even imagine how difficult that could be. All I know is we don’t need to be rebranded, pay for a better spot on a page, get added to another website, or pay some ridiculous fee to get featured for 4 hours once a month. Dan and I are good people. We have loving families, the best of friends, a freaking amazing dog, and god, we have so much love to give. 

To the expecting mom out there who may stumbles upon our page. We’re down to earth people and realize family IS more than blood. There’s so much more to you than the child you carry, and there’s so much more to us than our required cookie-cutter-smiling-couple template you’ll scroll through. I know we’ll find each other someday and until then, Dan and I will continue to go on adventures and dream our dreams. Whoever you are, wherever you are, we’re here, we’ll wait for you, and we can’t wait to meet you someday.

With all my love and light,


Day 7: Favorite Board / Card Game

settlersofcatanSettlers Of Catan! The Baird Clan is very serious about Settlers of Catan. We’ve even coined our own version with our own rules, we called it “Power Catan”. When we get together, it’s an all-out war; every man for themselves. In the end, everyone usually gains up on Dan because, 8 out of 10 times he wins. But, when he doesn’t the winner always gloats so much that we have to play again!

P.S. Sorry for the late post… It was a double dance concert day!

Day 6: Home Cooked Meal

Day 6We are big brunch eaters in this house! Every week I cook up a version of this breakfast pie. Our Sunday mornings are always reserved for eating a tasty breakfast in our pajamas while enjoying a cup of coffee. (*Obviously this isn’t today’s meal. It’s dance  concert week. Although I’ve got something prepped in the refrigerator, it might not look as pretty when I have to reheat it later tonight.)

Day 3: Our Favorite Place in our Town

Day 3: Our Favorite Place in our Town

Without a doubt, Big Cottonwood Canyon is our favorite place in SLC. It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, we always find ourselves spending time in this canyon. Whether we’re running, biking, hiking, rock-climbing, snowboarding or picnicking, the canyon is our happy place. We can’t wait to share our love of this canyon with our child someday.

Photo by Adam Barker
Photo by Adam Barker

Day 2: Our View Outside our Door

The view outside our doorDay 2: Our View Outside our Door

It’s barely winter, and not quite spring. I’m not going to lie, the view outside our door isn’t very exciting this morning. So I took the liberty of sharing with you a side-by-side photo that shows it’s beauty on a snowy day and blooming spring day.



P.S.  We always go out our back door since it’s closer to our garage. So this is a glimpse of the backyard.